How To : Survive Art School
I was practically a celebrity at art school. I didn't really get how 'normal' people handled it, as my day 2 day hustle consisted of hiding from the paparazzi, ignoring aggressive fans and turning down boyz. However I observed how everyone else did it. Thank me later ;)
1.) Drake who?
If you're going to art school and like Drizzy, burn ur albums kids. Hold back the urge to belt 'start- started- started frm da bottom now we here'. People we only judge you and label you as a rnb lover. Who wants that? Fite back the tears and be strong.I had to sit alone at lunch once cuz I was caught twerking in the bathrooms. :(..
Your new favourite artists are : The Smiths (so unknown), Toro Y Moi (wavey) and some guy called Bob Marley (gotta appease the smokers!!!! lol ja bless).
2.) Say yes to drugs
Have u heard of my m8 Frank?? Plz DON'T talk to him. heheheeheh!!!
There's this drug called MDMA which is really cool which Picasso obv dabbled in. You should definitely do a little bit before your life drawing class! Da model could turn into ur worst nitemare!! Just go with it and ride the wave.
Like coffee at breakfast? Replace your caffeine fix with a little thing I like to call Coke (not da diet kind!).
3.) Ur badge is ur life
When you are at an institution of art (fuk that was smart) you will get a badge. It is essential to wear this at all times so people know ur an up n coming Damien Hirst. Be outside the box-- I sometimes wear it around my ankle or often as a belt. If you're feeling daring like I always do, whilst at an art gallery throw it on the floor. Not only is this an installation piece, it lets people know you mean business.
4.) Hello and Good(bi)
If someone asks 'how are you?' answer with a 'I'm bi curious, how are you?'.
Shit. You are immediately fucking David Bowie or something. I mean, everyone's doing it. My old time friend Cara Delevigne is now dating a girl which is so hot right now!! I always wear one hoop in my ear because it begs the question of 'is she a lezza?' lol.
5.) Be poetic
Making small talk isn't easy. I like to channel my other gd m8 back in 2000 called Shakespeare, and speak with a poetic flow.
'Do u eva stop and fink...why is the sky blue?'
'Sometimes I feel like this, like this little fuckin caterpillar waiting month by month to turn into a buttafly'
'To die by ur side, is such a heavenly way 2 die.'
Yeah, so there you have it. It's a pretty rough guide, but I guarantee you'll sail through da world of art school and its inhabitants!!