26 April 2012



Vice has a youtube. *CONF3TTI IS THROWN*. Currently they've posted cool shit to do with Drake(mmm eye candy). And Brazilian ASSES. That's right boyz.

NGL the guy who starts talking thinks he's out of The Big Bang Theory and is monosyllabic but apart from that it's pretty good.

24 April 2012


All of a sudden, I have pretty much given up with boyz. I find myself just not seeing the point. I mean, why do I need a boyfriend? For them to tell me I look good with 'sweat pantz hair tied chillin with no make-up on'? Yeah, actually, maybe. For real though, the dream of having a boyf and walking on the beach would in real life be taking my friend's dog to McDonalds pretending he's a human. This would be our first d8! (cute). We'd then politely be asked to leave by the staff, as animals aren't allowed in. Charlie (the dog) would put his middle paw up at da staff (I love bad boyz).

This 'IDGAF BOUT BOIZ' attitude has lead to a fashion miracle/disaster. I've now started sleeping in pj bottoms (obv), then waking up and wearing them out, with high socks and Doc Martens. I then put on green lipstick, keep the rest of my stunning face bare, and sweep my hair up with a scrunchie. I've  had comments like 'u look lyk an avatar' or 'what happened to ur face', but I brush it off. Coz' guess what? THEY JUST JEALZ- H8RZ STEP TO THE BACK.

OH I also occasionally put those fake bindies on. Whatever it looks alt so I ain't complaining. And I wear fake tattoos that are peeling off.

It's liber8ing though. Today I wore a GAP hoodie, and the PJ bottoms are GAP so I thought I looked like a GAP model. I was shaking my hipz and catwalking down the street, when I bend down to tie my laces up, and I see Tarzan. My legs look like a French girl's armpit. F DAT.

5 April 2012


So, I've been obsessed with 'OFWGKTA' for some time now. Ok, I may not know ALL their songs but swaggin' down to school blasting 'F666 THE POLICE' is close enough 4 me. I also went as Tyler The Creator for Halloween. SNM bbz.

A week ago, Domo Genesis tweeted about weed or something so I replied. I (kinda as a joke, thinking nothing would come ov it) tweeted my number. All of a sudden I get an unknown call. OMG. It was Domo. So long story short we planned to meet him in Shepherds Bush, but we were in PJS (it was like midnight, BADASS), so we're frantically hurrying to get into some decent clothes. Didn't work- we looked a mess. So we're running for the bus, he's DMing us like 'hurry up'. The buses aren't coming. Again I'm really rushing this story. They're staying at the K-WEST hotel, and as we're late they tell us to not bother coming. F DAT. We still come. We're passing Shepherds Bush about to get out the bus, and by some MIRACLE we see Domo and some others. We run and it's Hodgy, we talk to him off a side road, and then Jasper and Domo come. They seem tired. Domo doesn't speak. We're in a st8 of shock but trying to play it cool. Hodgy, my lovah, invites us back to the van to 'get high and drunk.' Awkx since I'm anti drugs and panic attack. Lolz. Jasp + Domz go to get some Rum or Gin or some shit. We're talking to Hodgy and Olivia is putting on this whole ' I h8 ur music, I don't give a shit' attitude cos they like that. Me on the other hand, is being my usual self. 'I feel like DANCING.' Hodgy replies 'We don't dance. We just get wasted.' Lolz. gr8. I looked like some anxious puppy who has ADHD. Kinda killed my 'cool' 'edgy' image. Left brain comes trotting over reeking of weed. He says he likes my jumper. w00p. Odd Taco literally runs over, says something, then dissapears. HAHAHAAHAHAHAH. Then we all go back to the van, first nearly getting hit by a car. No joke on the road to the K-WEST, I see Jasper pissing on a car, them throwing cones about. I'm like SHIT MAYN THIS IZ CRAY. I muttered as if I was a rebel 'ehehehe we should burn da bush, cos we're in Shepherds Bush.' Olivia, trying to still play the badass card says 'fuck this let's just go.' Left Brain apologizes for 'scaring us' and we go onto the van. It's huge and has like dark blue lights and leather seats. And bunkbeds! :"") I went to step outside but couldn't open the door so poor Domo had to help me. I stand there hyperventilating, like 'IS THIS 4REAL????????AHHHHHHHHHHH!'. The joke that the one time I'm meeting them I look like the dogs diorrhea. They put on James Bond and I try and make conversation. Gay shit like 'I'm a rapper' (half joking) 'I'm half American', 'I mayk OF t-shirts.' You turn and Olivia is like 'I hate ur music.' Hodgy said to her 'I like you. YOU don't give a fuck.' Then you see me like sweating, a nervous wreck, constantly asking them when they're gonna hot box, because when they do, I'll need to step outside. At around 1:30, we kinda just walked out the van. I don't know why. We regret it. But TBH we had school. Probably the most surreal/cool night of my life.

RAH RAH RAH, yeah so there was more but this is so long. We have videos which I'll put up on youtube. Lolz Olivia took them 'subtly.'
If you wanna know more, comment and I'll holler!!


2 April 2012


Waddup y'all? I'm in America visiting my family. I came with the mindset that I'd continue with my healthy eating and it is proving VERY HARD. We roll into the grocery store and it's as if the aisles are coming to lyf tempting me with each moist chocolate chip cookie and Kool Aid flavor.


I've every morning been going to this thing called 'Hot Yoga', appropiate name 4 me coz I am "HAWT'!!!! AM I RITE??????????? HEHEHE. You rock into this room that is DRUMR0LL PLZ 104 degrees and literally do the hardest yoga ever. I came out and I swear children were probably muttering 'Wot was dat dyke doin in a swimming pool mami?'


Everyone here looks like trash. Apart from me and my family. Lolz jokes we're socially inept, farting and spilling shit in public. To make matters more LOL my Uncle refers to my Grandma as 'Cock' or 'Cock Sucker'. CL@$$Y. But, yeah everyone dresses like burnouts and ugly rejected Abercrombie models.