4 November 2012

THINGZ THAT ARE OVER

Hey world, I just wanna give my official 'over' list, so y'all can stay in fashion.

1.) OFWGKTA. Yes, I was obsessed with them, but they are like- so over babes! It's all about A$AP (ish) and Vinny Chase. And Owl City.


2.) Dip Dye or 'Ombre'. This was acceptable about a year or so ago. It's getting really old. Especially when it's really damaged and ginger with blonde.

3.) TUMBLR. My friend's had a tumblr and it was cool because they posted pictures of hot gurlz and cupcakes and cute dogs. Seriously though, all tumblrs I see have the following
: Skins quotes, Young Johnny Depp, Kate Moss, and two girls fucking or something. Despite some of these sitez being addictive to look at, it's so repetitive and mind numbingly boring. LEZ BRING BAK BEBO.


4.) GOING OUT AT NIGHT. I mean, it's cold and dark so let's all just sit around drinking hot chocolate pretending we're at a club. Kl. CBA 2 leave the front door. And it's so much more alt staying in.

5.) SNAP BACKZ/5 PANELZ. I found that like 'sk8r bwoi' shit hot a couple months ago but it's so cliche and immature now. Guyz plz wear some suits or leather jackets or light jeans or neon shorts. :") OMG AND OBEY IS WELL AND TRULY OVER EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

7 October 2012

SLUTEVER ROX MY WURLD

FEMINISM

Hi!! Don't exclamations make you look super keen and year 7? Cool. Well recently I think I've become a feminist. It's probably because I think it makes me look really cool and alt. 

BASICALLY- it's an excuse for me not to shave my legs and look edgy at the same time. U wiv me?

On a serious note though, (gurlz) why do we shave? I mean it's become so normal for us to shave our vaginas, but why do we do it? We have hair for a reason, so why cut it off? 

When I do- I feel like a raw chicken, a 5 year old girl and, I mean, since when is stubble hot? Gross.

I do draw the line at armpits, however. I feel really unhygienic when I have even a bit of hair around there. Plus, I feel really awks lifting my hand up in class with some bush sprouting out.


SO GALZ EMBRACE YER HAIR, LYK U JUS' DON'T CARE.

Plus you're rocking the whole Frida Kahlo look. That's so 2012. 

<3 and="and" cuddlez="cuddlez" div="div" love="love">
ANNZ OOXXOXO

6 August 2012

Interview with Crocodiles

READ IT HERE KIDZ::

http://www.kollektivnye.com/crocodiles

Summer Sleaze

Maybe I'm just completely str8 edge/snobby but I feel sick looking at these 'piss up 2k12' pictures. Partially this is my emotional sickness- envying da groop of palz as I don't even have that many facebook friends.

Seriously though, these 'lash-up' holidays leave me feelin cold. I could only go to somewhere like 'Shagaluf' (lolz) if I was a 18 year old male virgin who was secretly gay and was desperate to be 'onna da ladz!!!'. It's not the idea of getting 'fuked up' that doesn't appeal to me, it's' the shit hole of a club that these people seem to wind up at. Bless them they put on a slutty outfit and obv try hard to look good (fair enough) but when I see the creatures at these clubs I think -why? Some greasy burnt local dude called 'Rolada espanol chiminida-loga' is tagged, with painfully noticable sweat patches. Mmm baby shake that! He'll comment something like 'u 4 gals pretty looked that nite. Dreamin of u. Gorjus.' Um, ew?

If I'm gonna let my 'air down and get crunk on hols I'll do it somewhere like Ios where the surroundings are stunning and the men don't seem bad either. I'll also keep pictures of myself w a ciggi up my nose and tampon hangin out my crotch coz i was s00000000 gone for my wall in my room, rather than facebook.

Saying this, I will probs be in some sleaze island next year, licking shots of a cripple.

@dio$ xoxoxoxoxx
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on O2

17 July 2012

ERRORS



I'm really into this song. 'Errors' are a kickass band from Glasgow BTW. If you like shit with good beats that your foot can't stop tapping to, look no further guyz! Oh, and the video is pretty rad too- it's really futuristic including a Mac computer (trippY). The song kind of makes me feel like running around the streets with my Mac wearing glitter paint. You may feel me when you listen. Or maybe I'm jus' outta my mind.

follow them at : www.twitter.com/weareerrors

X

BEST COAST @ Shepherds Bush

I forgot to say that I went to Best Coast a couple months ago at Shepherds Bush Empire. They were off tha chain!

I was drooling @ Spectrals and Fear of  Men , the amazing support bandz.

My friend and I really wuved Fear of Men, so I'm gonna hit up a link to show my support or whatevz.

TTYL

Summer - let down or whut?

So seemingly summer was the time to 'YOLO', 'gt totalli fucked!!' or just get out of London.
This summer none of this has really happened for me.

Today, for example I went into Harrods, pretending I'm NOT poor and am sophisticated, to only rip a dress from Gucci. Awks. I had to pretend I was buying it and then hide it.

I went on a mini break with my best pal and we almost hijacked a boat because we got fed up with not being 'YOLO' enough. Are we sad? W/E. Now I sit here, googling 'chugs' and 'puggles', hoping that lyf will get better.

Oh, and I went to Claires for the 5th time this week only to get a fake tattoo kit called 'peace n luv'. **((Spr3ad da lurvvv st0p war))** . I used some Vitamin water on the tube to apply it, and then bbmed 'TATTOO FINALLY DONE!!!!!" with some crusty photo of the poor dolphin with two stars on it. Sadly, not even that crazy/badass status got anyone interested enough in it. H8 me but also LUV me.

bye

18 June 2012

X-peace-x

The best feeling ever is just changing yer covers and just sinking into them. That's me right now! Hehehe, ain't I sweet? Currently I'm in bed braiding my hair. Yawnin.

Recently I haven't been able 2 stop eating. Really need 2 cut down and go to the gym more. I feel like a sloth.

I also talk 2 much most of the time. Ill talk about shit I find LOL/awks/interesting, and I get so into it I become to sweat and become almost out of breath. Every1 kind of doesn't care about what am I saying, so when they try and speak I swiftly interject them with 'jus 1 more fing..'. Their eyes droop and bodie's shrug. Fml

Y can't I be a rapper or a poet?

Maybe I am

Gossip gal xo xo
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on O2

17 June 2012

HI WERLD

This whole week my hayfever has been going ape shit. I rock that 'krusti nose ring' vibe. Ya feel me?
Sometimes I hope it looks like I'm snorting up left over Cocaine, 2 push further my t33nage rebellion. MUM N DAD PLZ DNT LOOK @ THIS.

I've pushed myself to go out. Went all the way to BARNES. I saw a couple of these 'we wear creepers n high sox!! kl!' year belows who laughed at me. AWKS. Instead of being cool I just walked forward and tripped on something. We met this dude at the pub who literally was the biggest load of boll0x. The convo went something like this..

'So like I went to China, last year, and you know when you get those, like, *flix hair* epiphany moments every 2, 3 years? Well, fuk, I got them eVERY DAY M8! This world is so small in comparison. Like, I'd be cycling amongst the little kiddies, SO HIGH  on some herbs and they'd be looking at me like all chilled, but it was fucking HILARIOUS cos they didn't have a clue in da world I was high as a kyt!!! Shit.'

'Wow. Awesome.. Who'd you go with?'

'My Dad. You know as well, we were all high, cos he's properly into weed, and like I'm on the toilet, and I'm CHiiiLLED like HIGH and I see this snake. This snake was like proper looking into my eyes as if he was gonna eat me so I started calling people you know?'

'Who the fuck did you call in India m8? Customer service?'

And so on it went..like that. P00R GUY. P00R US. Actually it was pretty hilarious.


GIRL EATS FOOD

Sick of Hummingbird cupcakes that just are full of nothingness?

Well here we see DA GAL EATIN FOOD making 'Full English Muffins' consisting of bacon and black pudding.


MMMMM?

awks

10 June 2012

I'm BAK

Hi! So I haven't been blogging or whatever due to exams and shit. But I'm back wurld. Da bitch Iz back! (Lolz).

So today I went to my cousin's bday. I come in in my pyjamas and with my naturally stunning face (no makeup) only to be showered with compliments.

'Anna have u got chikenpox?' My little cousin asks.

'Um, no.....'

'Cos u have red dots on ur face.'

So I guess my 'acne' is getting rapidly better then..awks. The whole time I was going red whilst bullshitting about my future and art. Everyone looked at me as if they were confused by my thoughts. W/e bbz. I'm kinda shy at these things.
Shit, am I actually intimidated by my 9year old cousin's m8s?

There was also cake that was nice. Some moist chocolate sponge. Mm. I was startled, as there was play dough as the icing. I think I noticed this AFTER eating two slices. Now facin the consequences w some toilet aktion.

---LYF---IS---A----DOG!

Ttyl XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on O2

12 May 2012

WADDUP

HELLO WURLD! I realize I've not been blogging recently. Studying for my examz so I'm trying my hardest not to get on the computer.

Whats new? Well I'm obsessed with the 80s. It's not some 'cool edgy' obsession. It's got to the point where I watch Grease and Saturday Night Fever bawling my eyes out, singing 'Hopelessly devoted to you' with my Dad screaming shut up at me. Due to watching interviews with John Travolta I was also contemplating Scientology. WTF. I feel like I'm being brainwashed.

At school I'm bullying the teachers into marking my shit. 'WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE TEACHER?' 'She was at the hospital..' #awks. Poor thing, I'm like sending her to her deathbed FFS.

I've developed an acne breakout due to my stress. Been interviewing myself recently. I'll be in the kitchen cooking dinner and I'll be all 'Yeah, you know, you just have to follow your dreams.' 'Oh Juan from Mexico sent in a fan letter.' I'm saying all this bullshit thinking nobody's home, and then my Dad will come in, when I am miming using a fucking microphone. Think he is srsly hoping I'm not his child.

26 April 2012

VICE HAS A YOUTUBE

HI EVERY1! HOW YA DOING?

Vice has a youtube. *CONF3TTI IS THROWN*. Currently they've posted cool shit to do with Drake(mmm eye candy). And Brazilian ASSES. That's right boyz.

NGL the guy who starts talking thinks he's out of The Big Bang Theory and is monosyllabic but apart from that it's pretty good.

24 April 2012

ATTRACTIONZ/whatever

All of a sudden, I have pretty much given up with boyz. I find myself just not seeing the point. I mean, why do I need a boyfriend? For them to tell me I look good with 'sweat pantz hair tied chillin with no make-up on'? Yeah, actually, maybe. For real though, the dream of having a boyf and walking on the beach would in real life be taking my friend's dog to McDonalds pretending he's a human. This would be our first d8! (cute). We'd then politely be asked to leave by the staff, as animals aren't allowed in. Charlie (the dog) would put his middle paw up at da staff (I love bad boyz).

This 'IDGAF BOUT BOIZ' attitude has lead to a fashion miracle/disaster. I've now started sleeping in pj bottoms (obv), then waking up and wearing them out, with high socks and Doc Martens. I then put on green lipstick, keep the rest of my stunning face bare, and sweep my hair up with a scrunchie. I've  had comments like 'u look lyk an avatar' or 'what happened to ur face', but I brush it off. Coz' guess what? THEY JUST JEALZ- H8RZ STEP TO THE BACK.

OH I also occasionally put those fake bindies on. Whatever it looks alt so I ain't complaining. And I wear fake tattoos that are peeling off.

It's liber8ing though. Today I wore a GAP hoodie, and the PJ bottoms are GAP so I thought I looked like a GAP model. I was shaking my hipz and catwalking down the street, when I bend down to tie my laces up, and I see Tarzan. My legs look like a French girl's armpit. F DAT.




5 April 2012

MEETING ODD FUTURE



So, I've been obsessed with 'OFWGKTA' for some time now. Ok, I may not know ALL their songs but swaggin' down to school blasting 'F666 THE POLICE' is close enough 4 me. I also went as Tyler The Creator for Halloween. SNM bbz.

A week ago, Domo Genesis tweeted about weed or something so I replied. I (kinda as a joke, thinking nothing would come ov it) tweeted my number. All of a sudden I get an unknown call. OMG. It was Domo. So long story short we planned to meet him in Shepherds Bush, but we were in PJS (it was like midnight, BADASS), so we're frantically hurrying to get into some decent clothes. Didn't work- we looked a mess. So we're running for the bus, he's DMing us like 'hurry up'. The buses aren't coming. Again I'm really rushing this story. They're staying at the K-WEST hotel, and as we're late they tell us to not bother coming. F DAT. We still come. We're passing Shepherds Bush about to get out the bus, and by some MIRACLE we see Domo and some others. We run and it's Hodgy, we talk to him off a side road, and then Jasper and Domo come. They seem tired. Domo doesn't speak. We're in a st8 of shock but trying to play it cool. Hodgy, my lovah, invites us back to the van to 'get high and drunk.' Awkx since I'm anti drugs and panic attack. Lolz. Jasp + Domz go to get some Rum or Gin or some shit. We're talking to Hodgy and Olivia is putting on this whole ' I h8 ur music, I don't give a shit' attitude cos they like that. Me on the other hand, is being my usual self. 'I feel like DANCING.' Hodgy replies 'We don't dance. We just get wasted.' Lolz. gr8. I looked like some anxious puppy who has ADHD. Kinda killed my 'cool' 'edgy' image. Left brain comes trotting over reeking of weed. He says he likes my jumper. w00p. Odd Taco literally runs over, says something, then dissapears. HAHAHAAHAHAHAH. Then we all go back to the van, first nearly getting hit by a car. No joke on the road to the K-WEST, I see Jasper pissing on a car, them throwing cones about. I'm like SHIT MAYN THIS IZ CRAY. I muttered as if I was a rebel 'ehehehe we should burn da bush, cos we're in Shepherds Bush.' Olivia, trying to still play the badass card says 'fuck this let's just go.' Left Brain apologizes for 'scaring us' and we go onto the van. It's huge and has like dark blue lights and leather seats. And bunkbeds! :"") I went to step outside but couldn't open the door so poor Domo had to help me. I stand there hyperventilating, like 'IS THIS 4REAL????????AHHHHHHHHHHH!'. The joke that the one time I'm meeting them I look like the dogs diorrhea. They put on James Bond and I try and make conversation. Gay shit like 'I'm a rapper' (half joking) 'I'm half American', 'I mayk OF t-shirts.' You turn and Olivia is like 'I hate ur music.' Hodgy said to her 'I like you. YOU don't give a fuck.' Then you see me like sweating, a nervous wreck, constantly asking them when they're gonna hot box, because when they do, I'll need to step outside. At around 1:30, we kinda just walked out the van. I don't know why. We regret it. But TBH we had school. Probably the most surreal/cool night of my life.

RAH RAH RAH, yeah so there was more but this is so long. We have videos which I'll put up on youtube. Lolz Olivia took them 'subtly.'
If you wanna know more, comment and I'll holler!!

ANNZ XXXXXXXXXXXXX

2 April 2012

YOU ESS AY


Waddup y'all? I'm in America visiting my family. I came with the mindset that I'd continue with my healthy eating and it is proving VERY HARD. We roll into the grocery store and it's as if the aisles are coming to lyf tempting me with each moist chocolate chip cookie and Kool Aid flavor.

GOT DAYMN.

I've every morning been going to this thing called 'Hot Yoga', appropiate name 4 me coz I am "HAWT'!!!! AM I RITE??????????? HEHEHE. You rock into this room that is DRUMR0LL PLZ 104 degrees and literally do the hardest yoga ever. I came out and I swear children were probably muttering 'Wot was dat dyke doin in a swimming pool mami?'

N0 P@IN , NO G@IN. U GET ME?

Everyone here looks like trash. Apart from me and my family. Lolz jokes we're socially inept, farting and spilling shit in public. To make matters more LOL my Uncle refers to my Grandma as 'Cock' or 'Cock Sucker'. CL@$$Y. But, yeah everyone dresses like burnouts and ugly rejected Abercrombie models.

PEACE-LUV U ALL -------

30 March 2012

ODD FUTURE ETC

OK, SO I'M OFF TO AMERICA, IN LITERALLY 5 MINS.


SOOOOOOOO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TELL YOU ALL. WILL GO IN FURTHER DETAILS WHEN I'M HOME.

BUT OLIVIA AND I TWO DAYS AGO MET : DOMO, JASPER HODGY, LEFT BRAIN FROM ODD FUTURE AND WENT IN THEIR TOUR BUS AND WATCHED JAMES BOND.

TOOK VIDEOS/ETC,, WILL POST UP HERE ASAP !!

LOVE YALL,, MISS YALL, PEACE YALL XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

27 March 2012

NO GO ZONE

People are so uptight nowadays. Literally, If you say 'I need to do a sh*&' (I'm trying 2 not swear on this blog) people start doing that whole year 7 'teeheeheee' chuckle as if you're trying to get an audience going. X-CUSE ME? I'm just telling it str8 up.

'We didn't need to KNOW THT MUCH!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!'. Right, so me naturally stating I need to excrete is really THAT offensive to you bbz?

It's not as if I'm saying 'Oh my christ, basix I just had some chicken for lunch and I can feel it sliding down my buttox, I need to relieve myself from this slippery sensation (oo alliteration, can I get some r8-ings?).

Do people really have to start referring to it as 'DA 'P' WURD? P meaning 'poo', 'poop','poopy' poo-poo'-- whatever you wanna call it.

Real talk, sit down, shut up and take real life in. Y-0-L-0 BABi

BRINGING BACK BUNCHES 4 SUMMER

I'M A HYPOCRITE


I've been thinking recently, a lot. And I've strongly come to conclusion that I am a hypocrite.

'OMG that gurl ova there is soooooooo hipsta, lols!!!!! check out her doc martens' I mutter smugly to my friend. I look down, and I see MY doc martens, my nose ring, and charity shop clothes. Awkward. My general excuse for this is that 'I look more swag then they do. I don't look like a douche.' I guess this is also true. (LOLZ). Or 'omgz she needs to stop dying her hair brite colorz i mean cum on!' when behind tha scenes I'm looking on tumblrs tabbing the girls with bright green hair.

Seriously though, to an extent so many of us are hypocrites. People write comments on fb like 'this is indie, har har', yet they have a fashion blog, a tattoo saying 'Everything's broken' and a boyfriend who works at Rokit. Slightly ironic? I can hardly talk, but come ON.

I think part of the reason I get so critical of other yung, hip, relevant people (dn't h8) is because I'm jealous of them.

Let's face it, if we saw a fat fourteen year old boy in too tight corduroy trousers, a 'I (hart) NY' hoodie and glasses on, we wouldn't LOLZ in his face. We'd probably pity the poor cupcake. Maybe utter an 'awwwwwwwwwwwww.' When we feel threatened or jealz, that's when we are the first ones to insult.

AM I RITE, OR AM I RITE???

19 March 2012

TIME TO DANCE

This song is CHAOS, I mean that kind of music that blasts in American Apparel and you're like 'MOSHPIT'. Any way, it's pretty good, and it's on my FAVOURITE music website NOISEY.

JAKE GYLLENHAAL (EYE CANDI) stars in it. CHECK IT THE F OUT>>>>

14 March 2012

Gotta luv ma jacket!

#sparkly

Been swag since I was young

Falling In Love

You know how people who have boyfz generally put their name on bbm with some lame love heart? For example : G3M: (loveheart) Alexxxxx babyyy (loveheart).

Well I do it too. Except with my friend's dog, Charlie. I guess what is so alluring about him is he isn't into me, he plays it really hard to get. He's also homosexual, which is really edgy in todays society. The other day he starting licking my thigh. Player or what? I mean, he's totally f****** w ma feelingz. "Charlie, I know we're having a fling, but we're not exclusive yet'. All of a sudden Olivia walks in and looks disturbed. Whateva I guess she's just jelz. for me, developing a crush didn't consist of sending a flirty bbm 'u look well gawjus in ur blackberrymessenger picci!!', but instead was filled with endless trips to the pet shop stocking up on chewable bones and squeaky toyz. without these essential productz u don't stand a chance amongtz caninez.

It's really, what's the word...thrilling because he's a TOTAL bad boy/thug. We'll be walking down the block and out of nowhere he'll start savaging a cat and I'm all ':O' 'daymn'. To quote my gd m8 Olly Murs 'he makes mi hart skip skip a beat.'

our 'bantah' is totally hilarious/cheeky. when i do a fart whilst dining at their house i blame it on him and he getz told off and sent out of the dining room!!! lolz kinda flirty am-irite??!!


Is this what luv is supposed to feel lyk?? (i think it iz)

#peak

U know life has reached the limit when you're lying in bed reading "Tips on how to get guys via text." Funnily enough, I had broken all the 'rules'. I guess I will stay single/celib8 all my life. Whatever, I'll roll wid it. Yesterday I saw the David Hockney exhibition. Was soooo good. AMAZING. I feel super inspired and I don't know- I felt really happy seeing the art. The canvases are HUGE, so intensity levelz are LARGE. This really sweet Portugese girl in my class was taking mounds of pictures on her new camera for her portfolio, as it was 'essential because the teacher wanted them asap'. I'm scrollin' down the pictures, see some GROTESQUE picture of me and go to delete but it's in Portugese so cutting to the chase....I end up deleting ALL her pictures. By accident, but still. The real joke was me sweating, trying to put her at ease saying we could retrieve the photos. "There were videos of my boyfriend living in Portugal..and some really cute ones of my sister." Oh GOD! Being a moron/clumsy SUX. The duration of today I sat downing herbal tea, sobbing in the toilets, talking about the menstrual cycle and needing 2 go to the toilet. I think it's all the tea/water I'm drinking.

#fail

9 March 2012

KONY 2012, yes or no?

So, some girl in my class came into the room and told us all to google 'Kony'. I was completely baffled, thinking it was 'Coney (Island)'. She explained that Kony has been making this army out of children, forcing them to kill their parents. To make things even more disgusting, the girls are forced to be sold as sex slaves.

'Invisible Children' released the video on the 5th of March, and since then it's got some ridiculous amount of hits- like 38 million or something. I watched it last night and felt kind of luke warm about the whole thing. The american dude in the video had the most irritating voice, and made a bloody montage out of this video, slow motioning the African kids, which looked cool, but it got to a point where it was like- this AIN'T a rock' n roll video babes. The joke for me is when he got his son, who looked like something out The Brady Brunch, and told him for the first time about Kony. 'What do you think about this?' 'It's saaaaad', retorted the son, looking as if he'd been fed these lines.

'It's kids like my son who are abducted.' Mmm yeah m8 privileged kids who have been spoilt all their lives are really alike Jacob (the child who stars in the video). They are really fighting for their lives everyday...not #awks.

It was supposed to be about Jacob, and kids like him, who fear being killed everyday. What I took from it, is that it was more about HIM, and his fake ray bans he was wearing. He even topped off the 'alt' factor by playing Mumford And Sons at the end, making it seem more almost, superficial? If that makes sense.

Vice did a REALLY really interesting piece, showing hidden faults with the actual charity.

6 March 2012

PROJECT X PARTY


So, VICE threw a launch party for PROJECT X (like, the best film of 2k12). I was lucky enough to see the film a while back at the screening, and was shocked by how much I LUVED it.

I managed to blag my way into da party (super cool/edgy), and had a gr8 time.
There was a bouncy castle, free drinks, amazing music.. need I say more, yo. The space was filled with 'hipsters', yes a sloppy generalization but there ya go. So, being '2 kl 4 skl', nobody was busting a move. Unless you want to call head bopping and a bit of 'I'll tap my plimsoles in tha ayyrrr' dancing. Keep in mind this was around 10, before everyone was outta there MINDZ crunk. 'Nigga's In Paris' came on and my m8s and I decided to get down n' durty. This dude who was clearly not in the right frame of mind, dressed in some kind of worker/office apparel was 'gettin' low', sweating profusely. YUMii DiLF aLeRt.

So, we're dancing at the space by the barriers, and everyone is literally standing still behind us. Finally a group of three guys who were passionately singing along to Jay-Z, fist pumpin', posing for PIX, joined us. All of a sudden I turn and EVERY1 is dancing.
WE STARTED IT. I REPEAT, WE STARTED DA MOSH. SAY NO MORE.



2 March 2012

TAKING TIME OUT OF MY BUSY SOCIAL LIFE.. TO SAY,


I'M CUTTING DOWN ON SWEARING ON THIS BLOG. IT IS DISGUSTING AND VULGAR.

THAT IS ALL!

PEACE AND LOVE Y'ALL
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

28 February 2012

BIG DEAL / S.C.U.M at BUSH HALL



So, truth be told, the only thing I knew about 'S.C.U.M' was that the lead singer is Peaches Geldof's baby daddy. I only went to this gig to hear Big Deal. They are so good.

Anyway, we arrive, and I'm thankful as unlike venues in Dalston, this one is near my house. There are small groups of the standard teenz you'd expect to be here: denim jackets, small red beany hats, and blonde bleached hair. I felt like 'fuckin da system' and wore a Brasil football t-shirt. #Alt. This club music kept coming on as everyone was anticipating the bands, so instead of sitting there looking depressed, we started doing the robot. It even reached the peak of doing a dance routine. People tried to avoid eye contact, or would laugh at us. I just shot daggers at them, feeling really intimid8ing and badass.
Big Deal came on and I was surprised that the crowd was not full. I was obviously front row, and knew all the lyrics. I felt like I was bloody serenading the lead singer. She looked effortlessly cool in some baggy black tshirt with a choker necklace on. Envious :( They played 'Homework', 'Talk', 'Cool Like Kurt' and some other songs. Since I'm a super fan I desperately wanted them to play more. Tears were almost pouring out my eyes. Any time my m8s would start to talk during the set, I got violent. Dat showed dem! #4REALDOE


All of a sudden, the crowd got HUGE. I turn around, and see a flash of peroxide and anorexia. WHO COULD IT BE? None otha than Peaches Geldof! OMG BABES!! SO COOL!!! We kept taking pictures of 'eachother' when we were conveniently infront of her. Cheeky.

Right, so S.C.U.M came on. Thomas Cohen (the singer) looked liked one of those environmental enthusiasts, who hands out leaflets on the road, maybe having a crazy dreadlock in his hair. He was wearing FLARED trousers, barefoot. Don't play the 'I'm natural, one with the stage' shit on us Tommy.

Their music sounded all the same. I enjoyed climbing practically on the stage, taking pictures of the poor guitarists crotch and brogues. The lights were slightly surreal. The stage would be pitch black and all of a sudden there'd be some strobe light, illuminating my oily face and crusty nose ring. MM baby. Fuck that. Pink, blue, purple lights on off, on off 24/7. I literally felt like I was on acid. 'Thanks guys, this is our last song', said Cohen and accidentally my friends shouted 'THANK GOD', 'IT'S ABOUT TIME'. Guess that rules us out for being BFFs 4 eva with Peaches. :"( I LOVE THEIR SONG 'WHITECHAPEL' HOWEVER. IT ROX!!
Afterwards, I was walking around the bar aimlessly and one of the annoying girls with the beany hat trotz up to me. Bloody hell, what now m8? 'Sam and Will from Gross Magic say hi,'. And then she walked off, into the distance. DA FUK?

ANNA SAMPSON

27 February 2012

Poetic shit or whatever

As I'm laying in my bed, under my duvet, my eyes are wild. They are wild yet gentle. Gentle with an eternal longing. A longing making every hair on my spine stand on edge. A longing that makes me feel something I find hard to describe.

Dark clear sky, giant purple damp, right up near my flesh. This was the world. Well, the world that I never wished to escape. I looked out onto the distant orange and flickering silver, merging into one hazy existence. They seemed so far out, so serene, similar in appearance to a shooting star. The colours melted into my eyes, seeped into my mouth, making me feel pure. I never wanted to be dirtied with the truths of day again. As I lay here, holding on to this moment ever dream like I thought, how can I be here? Here in a place so false and unjust. A place filled with smog. Reality should be erased. All i want to do is be intoxicated with that dark beauty again. Become one with that night. However sadly, I can't.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on O2

19 February 2012

dont wanna seem like a punk pu$$y, who seems like a punk pu$$y

Dn't b NOSE(y)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEY.

So I got my nose pierced at Selfridges. Hurt, and i broke out in some heat rash due 2 nerves. I wake up the next morning and it isn't in my nose. I was freaking out and found it on my bed. WTF. So I go back to Selfridges and they don't give me a refund and can't re pierce it because it has closed and it needs 'time 2 heal.' I was in hysterix and yeah it was pretty emotional.

So now I'm effing getting it re pierced but on the other side next weekend. Takez da piss.

XXXXXXXX

16 February 2012

PROJECT X - screening

Vice allowed us to go to the screening for Project X, a film about to come out, produced by the same guy who did 'The Hangover'. On Feb 16, we went to see it.

I didn't really know what to expect, but we rocked into The Soho Hotel late, but it was all ble$$ because it had just started. The space was legit, LUXURIOUS, with cow skin chairs. #highlyf

Basix, it WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE. It was a mix of Superbad, Skins and The Inbetweeners. Condensing the story line down, it was about a house party that was mamouth, and then failed terribly, hosted by three complete loserz. DRUGZ, SEX, TEENS, FIRE AND BOOZE. And dogz being lifted in the air by balloons. The mix of comedy, awesome music, nudity and action was spot on. I'm a harsh critic so believe me when I say, this is such a good film. Please go see it. All house parties will seem like dog p00 in comparison. #REALTALK

15 February 2012

BULLYING GROSS MAGIC


Twitter is a place where people talk to their friends or advertise their businesses or whereabouts. For me, this does not apply. I have no friends on twitter, apart from @OliviaChaplinOC, and a few others. My other m8s aren't relevant enough to get on twitter, and have stayed on facebook.

I use twitter to bully/attempt to become friends with 'indie' bands. Smith Westerns have been subjected to this, and now, lucky4them, GROSS MAGIC! @wiwbarr and @grossmagic if we're gonna get technical. The guitarist 'wiw barr', has like, 210 followers, but despite this never replies 2 us. :~(( :~~(.

I think it's their slight vulnerability and uncoolness that drawz me 2 them. Once we tweeted them and they rang Oli and did like, the shittest prank call ever.. something along da lines of 'Hi!!! This is Gross Magic's cover band' heeheheh wow aren't U guyz JKZ!!

Their music is actually good, I have some of their shit on my Blackberry. I don't know whether to show my face at another gig, for the fear of having a restraining order slightly makes me wanna krap myself.

LUV U GROSS MAGIC BB, HOLD TYT XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

H DOG



Hi every1. This is my m8 Hewey. This picture is edgy, and flatters his afro.

DROP

WAGWUN Y'ALL.

I'm currently pumping 'Hopelessly Devoted' on youtube, post Valentines bluez. #onlyGodCanJudgeMe

Tonight is the Project X screening, which I'm pretty hyped about. Will give an honest review of it. Fingerz crossed there will be free popcorn! Lolz.

Since our best friend/soul m8 Lucy has gone skiing, Olivia and I have lost da plot a little bit. We have made up we're in a mental home, and when we tell jokes we say 'Joke time at the institute.' You can make up your mind if this is funny or slightly sick/twisted.

Today my Dad kicked me out the house (Skins themetune playz), because I lied about going to some appointment. I totally 'pwned' the argument, parring him back when he bluntly remarked 'U will neva be employed or go to uni'. WOOO thanks Dad wuv U too <3

I stormed off and walked around the local park, scowling at the local dogs and OAPS, listening to Earl Sweatshirt. FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK M8888888.

13 February 2012

Who wantz 2 b ma Valentine???

U kno u want dis

Sandy, Can't U See?

It's been an emotional week. Last night Oli and I plucked out our black heads, and ate pasta. We also watched Grease. I warned her it made me really weepy, and standardly two minutes into the film I was dancing and then crying my eyes out. It was a bit of a bipolar moshpit TBH. We'd encourage each other to cry, like when the ending came when they all are "we'll always, be togethaaaAh', I'd come out with "what if when we are older we'll never see each other??". Da tearz started again. *wOoooo party*

Today we went to Chiswick and all put on accents for da thrill ov it!! Ehheehehehehe. Hewey put on a mexican accent but took it too far and kept it the whole day. #awks. We were in this alt record shop and Olivia asked for 'earl sweatshirt', as I head my head down looking at the Cds. All of a sudden I hear 'Do U happen 2 know where Tylor de Creatore Is?'. God bless Hewey thinking he is a budding actor persisting with the accent even in the SHOP. Bloody 'ell.

On the bus home we sat on the top deck (crazy). Olz and I had headphones in and I thought I was really LOL because I said "ok, this song I'm about to play is sum wicked new rap artist hold tyt'. Expecting some mad Odd Future style rap, Oli sat there w8ing, but to her shock "grease is da word is da word have u heard?" Started blaring into her earz instead! Hehehheh I'm sucha prankster.

God bless
XxxxxxX
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on O2

ahhh they are just too good!




WANNA SEE THEM LIVE!

12 February 2012

INTERVIEW WITH BIG DEAL

http://www.kollektivnye.com/?p=2919


No need 4 I.D security knowz me, lolz jkz, OBL.

So, standard alt night out. Denim jacket's out, cross earrings, and doc martens to feel relevant and luved in this harsh wurld. We venture to the 'hip' 'cool' 'trendy' area of Shoreditch.
OBL. Ol' Blue, Old Blu Lahst, Or plain old 'oh b L'. This pub is the hub 4 all hipsters, and people to do with Vice. They throw some pretty good gigs/events. Been there before and made fwendz, we thought, with the bodyguardz. We got a bit cocky and bragged about this, taking pictures, posting on myspace, flickr, twitter, google, tumblr (COOOL!!!!!!!)))). Despite our friends anxiety about not getting in, we assured them with 'Nah m8 dw da security knows us, lyk U may not get in, but WE will.' So we get there, and they're all Bless xoxoxo about us going in. It's some moshpit in there- literally stampeed of old men in pointy shoes with beards and button up tops (sw00n)!. We kinda give a smirk, like 'yh yh we got in here, we knw this joint, sfe sfe xoxo'. We go to the toilets, do a shit, and get back up there. I text my friend 'WE GOT IN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO. YEAH BBZ.' If this wasn't cool enough, we bring them in and they don't get in, due to not having I.D. We're beggin, pleadin', willing to fla$h titz just to live the indie VIP lifestyle, but no. They don't let us in. Nope. So we go to try to get into Cargo. Fail again. AWKS. We pull out a rollup, start tokiNG up so we seem 'older' 'wizer' 'stronger' 'faster' 'better' hold tyt Kanye.
GOD LISTENS AND ANSWERS 2 OUR PRAYERS, AND BY SOME MIRACLE, A NEW BOUNCER IS AT THE DOOR AND WE ALL GET IN!! Smilez n' drinks all round!
There's some band who look 12 years old, one lookS albino with braces. Bless him though he was cute. There music was quite good, and we were the only ones dancing. To our right were some fucking Made In Chelsea tryhards with gelled hair slicked back with headbands, grinding on their Sloaney long haired gfs. PDA MUCH BBZ. LEAVE. DPMO.
We go out because the ambience got too heated and we needed a quick ciggy bweak. We get outside, and I swear I saw flashes of bodyguards, MandMs and walky talkies. 'Oi listen, yh, where R ur I.DS', the one bodyguard says, whilst munching on some coloured m&ms. HARD. I whip out mine, feeling sxc and free (jessie j) lols. He asks for the rest of ours and we endlessly made excuses 'listen, I liv in Brighton so, lyk I forgot my I.D, come on m8 giv us a break.' We also said we had evidence of knowing him, and got out the picture of him pouting with us. B8ED. B8ED. He kinda went red and said gigglin' with an m&m stuck in his tooth "is dat me"? As if he looked really fit, and wanted some compliments.. awkwaaarrrdd.
In the end, the walky talky was whipped out '4111' 'HELLO CAN U HEAR ME?? I AM WITH THE TWO GIRLS. LISTEN THERE ARE TWO MANY MEN IN HERE, CAN WE LET DEM IN?" What is this place? The fucking Ritz Carlton? Outrageous yo.
OLD BLUE LAST , MORE LIKE, this is the LAST time your and your BLUE M&Ms will be seeing us anywhere near OLD street.

7 February 2012

Project X

Hey yo! Vice are holding a bunch of house parties to celebrate the release of the new movie 'Project X'. The film's about a house party that gets TOTEz outta control due to being advertised via fb (bad move, bad move). I'M SUPER HYPED, AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO!


WIN YOUR WAY INTO THE HOUSE PARTIES ETC HERE, WHICH MAY I ADD WILL HAVE BANDS PLAYING ETC (FUCKIN KRAY) >>>> http://www.facebook.com/VICE?sk=app_341787712510152

6 February 2012

:"(

I'm so awkward w guyz I like can't speak to them without freaking them out or just being really weird and boring.

I wish dogz could speak cos then I'd have a boyfriend!

#feelingsad #lost #teenageyearz
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on O2

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAA

creps304 up, 39 down
good lookin trainers, likely to be wanted by rudeboys
"ey bedjin gimme dem creps"

i wish i smoked weed so i could sing songz with lyrics like

'I only smoke bluntz if they rolled proPAH'

whilst rollin a fat doobie


I am currently biting my lips. Probs gonna have a lip bleed again. #blessme




Arni Interview

I still watch this and die a little bit. 'What's your name'? HAHAHAHAH I had posterz of him up on my wall. Watch and count how many times I say 'like'.

3 February 2012

The Warias- Part 1


This documentary is really interesting. Rarely do I manage to pull myself away from cultured trash online such as 'Pretty Little Liars', but this part 1 was enthralling and slightly eerie. Vice goes to Indonesia to speak to Javanese transvestites who study at an Islamic school.

WATCH IT YO

M.I.A- BAD GIRLS

God bless M.I.A. She is cool controversial, and her shit is catchy.

HERE IS HER NEW SONG, UPLOADED BY NOISEY.COM (the best music site in da world)


LOVE THIS SONG

2 February 2012

hair modeling soon. going 4 a grey kinda look. <3

MY GR8 MUSIC 4 U



- DIS 1 U CAN DANCE IN UR ROOM AS IF UR AT AN ((ACTUAL CLUB)) LYK I DO! LOLS.


- DIS 1 4 WHEN U JUST GOT SHOUTED OUT BY UR PARENTS FOR SPILLING FOOD ON THE SOFA. **SOB UR HART N SOUL OUT Y'ALL*


- DIS IS DA TUNE TO BLASY EN ROUTE TO THE LOCAL SWIMMIN' POOL. U FEEL LIKE UR IN CALIFORNIA, WHEN REALLY UR IN CHISWICK!! F IT DOE! LOLZ XOXO

COLD


Hey y'all. So I'm having a 'pity parT' as I have a splittin headache, a hacking cough and chapped/bleeding lips.

I'm practically on the tube with children pointing at me like 'mummi, y has dat gurl got blood on her face'. Feeling like fucking Edward Cullen I check my mirror and have blood gushing out my lips. MMMMM KISSABLE XOXO COVERGURL. Vaseline has stopped working on me. #LOSINGBATTLE

What's up with it being -4 degrees outside and it not snowing? I feel like I'm doing a strenuous workout walking down the street because it hurts 2 walk in the freezing cold. ***criez, buried in da snow****.

Today I wore a Tyler The Creator/Cee lo green/Snoop inspired outfit... Picture it : Bright green Abercrombie and Fitch trackies (I-CATCHING OR WOT?), Fresh kix (reebok hiking bootz) and hair in a bun. To add a kinda, hipster element I wore a chunky ring. So, since I was looking so fucking swag, it came as a surprise when a herd of school boiz starting sniggering at me. LUCKILY I WAS PUMPING 'TALKIN' DA HARDEST BY GIGGS' ON MY BB. they b h8ing on ma swag.

DUNKNOE, STAY BLESS N SHIT
XXXXXXXXXX


29 January 2012

Oberhofer Interview

Spoke 2 Brad Oberhofer on the phone. Creeped him out with awkward jokes . I blamed the silence on the bad phone reception. He was a lovely guy, and very cultured/interesting/cute.

We talk about swag, violins, and romance!

26 January 2012

SWEET (SEVEN)TEEN

IT'S MA BIRTHDAY BITCHEZ. *POPZ CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE*

I'M SO POPULAR I EVEN GOT A YOUTUBE SHOUT OUT.. 'SWAG'